


Variance

by WickedlyEmma



Category: Outlast (Video Games)
Genre: Choking, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Intersex Val, M/M, Other, Unhealthy Relationships, Variant!Blake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21939304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedlyEmma/pseuds/WickedlyEmma
Summary: Blake knows better than to try and hide. Val will find him. Val always finds him.Or: Blake is stuck on the bridge between Human and something else.
Relationships: Blake Langermann/Val (Outlast)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	Variance

Blake doesn’t remember much outside of Temple Gate at this point. He sometimes remembers a woman; a child and a blinding white light. If he thinks about it too long, his head feels like it’s going to split in half— the birth of Athena. He tries not to think about it. Blake’s not sure when he made the transition from who he was before to the thing he is becoming.

He can’t say he regrets the change. Fish adapted to walk on land: he has adapted to something more than human— something than can survive in the barren landscape of Arizona.He’s in an in between state: a transition between apes and humans. Blake wonders who he will be. He wonders if he will even remember this once his evolution has finished.

The tunnels beneath the mountains are the safest place for Blake, ironic given what his limited memory can recall. The only true danger is Val. And unfortunately for him, Val likes him too much to kill him.

“Where are you, my love?” Val calls. He doesn’t answer. Their voice is too close to comfort. Blake still remembers the last time they caught him— he’s not eager to repeat the experience. Darting into a side tunnel, Blake keeps running. He knows better than to try and hide. Val will find him. Val _always_ finds him. Blake is trapped by the inherent restrictions of the mountain: he cannot stay, and he cannot go. Leaving the mountain means meeting others worse than Val. His palms itch with phantom pain. Blake prefers to choose the heretic over the cult above them.

“I know you’re close… We have a connection.”

Val’s voice echoes like they’re in a separate branch of the tunnel. Blake relaxes minutely. But not enough to stop running. Blake is faster than Val— a side effect of his transformation. He’s never escaped them. Sometimes, Blake feels like that there’s a stamp on his soul that connects him to the heretic. A red string linking soulmates contaminated with the intrinsic filth of heresy. A damnation upon him and all those before him. That, or God is uncommonly cruel.

“Found you.”

The wind rushes out of Blake’s lungs. He blinks and he’s on the ground, the grinning face of the devil above him. Val cages him with their arms. A rush of warmth and safety rushes through him. Blake’s been underground so long that he doesn’t even question it.

“You were looking to be caught?— Weren’t you, my love?” Val chuckles low in his ear. Blake gets trapped in an endless loop of déjà vu. His sight blinks in and out: sometimes a blurry Val leans over him with a hungry look on their face and the next second everything flashes white.

“ ** _Answer me_** ,” Val growls. Blake blinks at the sharp pain in his cheek. Blood trickles into his eye.

“Yes,” Blake croaks.

“Yes, what?”

Blake takes a moment to register the question. “Yes,” he says finally, “I wanted you to catch me.”

A mocking smile spreads over Val’s lips, pulling over sharp pointed teeth.

“I know, my love. I always will.” Val leans down to bite at Blake’s neck with bruising intensity. Flashbacks fold upon him until Blake can’t tell what happened and what he experienced between the flashes of fog that encompasses Temple Gate. Blake feels more like a collection of screaming nerve endings and false memories than a person at this point. He can’t tell what’s true or false. The only thing that ever feels real to him is the person branding him with their hands.

“Off,” Val growls. Blake doesn’t hesitate to obey, tugging down what remains of his pants. Val helps with the decimated rags of his shirt.

“Beautiful as always,” Val comments, tracing a dirty finger down the lines of scars on his body. Blake is too thin now, muscle and fat faded away to bone. He looks like a heretic now. Maybe, Blake thinks belatedly, he is a heretic now.

Val digs their nails into him.

“Pay attention!” They warn. Val straddles him. Blake can feel the heat of them from beneath their robe. Val rocks against him and his head tips back, eyes unseeing. His hands dig uselessly into the ground. He knows how this game will go. Sometimes it seems like all he can do is keep playing. The warmth between Val’s thighs engulfs him. Blake can feel himself swelling— heat trickling through his nerve endings. He wants nothing more than to pull Val down and fuck up into them in an animalistic act. Almost like they can hear his thoughts, Val pauses to lift up their robes. For a moment, Blake feels like his old self again. He looks at himself in disgust, wondering what happened to make him this way. He feels a little like he’s floating above his body— watching in third person. The inescapable urge to run floods through him.

Then Val sinks onto him.

Val feels warm and tight around him and Blake almost wants to cry at the feeling. He gets drawn back into his own body and all at once feels the dirt beneath his back and the burning in his body. Something rises in his chest: unknowable in its intensity. Val leans down to groan into his lips.

“So beautiful for me,” they say. Their nails are sharp as they leverage themself over him, fucking themself with his cock. Blake looses track of time as he’s used. He wonders what that unknowable woman would think of him now. He wonders what happened to her.

A hand wraps itself around his throat.

“I said, **_pay attention_**.” Val leans over him with a cruel look in their crystal eyes. They shift their weight to the hand around his throat and Blake can’t _breathe_. His hands stay planted in the ground. He knows what will happen if he tries to resist. It’s a lesson he doesn’t need to learn more than once.

He gasps when Val inches off, giving him room to breathe.

“You’re so good for me,” Val coos, “I’m never getting rid of you. Maybe I’ll keep you under my throne. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? I could let the underlings use you. I could watch you get passed around until you’re used to exhaustion. And then at the end of the night, I could take you again. You wouldn’t be able to get hard at that point, so I’d just have to fuck you like the rest of them. I bet you’d be so loose and open at the end of the night. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Sometimes, Blake thinks, the worse part about Val is that they never stop talking.

“ ** _Say it_**.”

Blake doesn’t get a chance to hesitate before Val is cutting off his air again.

“Yes,” he wheezes, “Please.”

Val grins, all sharp teeth and pain. “Yes, what?”

“—Yes I want you to use me.”

“And?”

Blake knows what Val wants him to say. He doesn’t remember why it’s so important, but he suspects it has to do with the woman-shaped hole in his memory.

“I’m yours.”

“Yesss.” Val fucks themself on him faster, rougher. Blake keens at the feeling.

“Say it again.”

“Yours,” Blake gasps, “Only yours.”

Val laughs as they come, shivers rocking up their spine. Blake winces as their nails bite into him. Val stays there, unmoving, as they recover. They roughly remove themself off of Blake. Blake, remaining hard and wanting, whimpers at the feeling.

“Poor love,” Val murmurs as they stroke his hair. Blake leans into the warmth the action brings him, despite seeing through its transparent falseness. “You just want my affection, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Blake says, “Please.” His eyes burn.

Val laughs and their nails bite into the nape of his neck.

“Let me know when you’re ready to stop running. You know where to find me.”

Val leaves him there in the cold and damp with the familiar feeling of being on shifting ground. Blake picks himself up and gets back in his tattered clothes. He knows he’s not who Val wants him to be yet. He’s on the bridge between who he used to be and what he is becoming. He can feel the memories of his past life slipping away from him like sand on a shore. Blake knows that when he comes out from underneath the water he will be a new person. He’s almost jealous of that person who won’t feel the urge to run, but instead embrace the heresy underneath the mountain. Blake’s excitement fades as he walks and with it, his longing grows stronger.

He hopes he doesn’t have to wait long.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my writing & wanna talk to me, I'm on tumblr @wickedlyemma


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